Belle turned 2 last week. I’ve been planning her birthday and her presents for so long and covid really changed the way we were planning on celebrating.

What I probably wasn’t prepared for was the emotional impact its has on me.

Turning two means so many different things. The expectation that I’m now the mother of a demon terrible two year old. The wonder from people when I’m going to try for a second because isn’t 2 years a lovely age gap. The sudden realisation that most places no longer see Belle as a baby or a toddler but a child. But the final thing is probably the hardest to handle. Her independance.

I’m currently sitting at the Fishers Farm soft play and she has gone off and made a friend and is playing very happily with no need for Mummy. She has verbly told me on several occasions over the last week “Mummy no need”. She regularly rejects my help when doing things and pushes me away if I try to offer guidance.

I’m half a proud mummy watching her little girl grow up and then half feeling a bit like a spare part. Don’t get me wrong, being able to be seated drinking a warm (no joke) coffee is bliss, but there are times when I sit and think about how fast things like school are approaching.

So far the only terrible part, and that’s an exaggeration, about her being two is my emotional need to feel wanted. She is still my cuddly little girl but I can’t deny that it’s getting less and soon I will cherish those cuddles as they begin to become a rarity.

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